In this week’s episode of "So You Think Your Place is Small?" we bring you this "renovated" studio in Boston’s tony exurb of Brookline, wedged just between all of the urban universities and the suburban ones in the city of 1,000 colleges.
This $1295 per month listing (available September 1, if you’re in the market), bills itself as a "small and cozy furnished studio with a private bathroom and kitchenette (new cabinets, under the counter refrigerator, sink and microwave). No desk."
Though the Craigslist ad doesn’t specify the exact size of this pocket pad in Boston’s tony exurb neighborhood of Brookline, we’d estimate it at around 200 square feet — or about $6.50 per square foot. A far cry from the currently trendy and space-maximizing Tiny Homes, this place is barely bigger than a closet — and doesn’t even have one.
Additional questionable design decisions for this place include the stairs. Where, exactly, do they go?!? My guess is out to the "lanai" — what my husband and I used to call our fire escape when we spent four years living in this shoebox 1-bedroom apartment in Boston’s equally pricey-per-square foot historic North End — unless this is actually "garden level," or what East Coast city dwellers know as the (generally dank basement) partially subterranean first floor.
Which would put your mudroom in your bedroom — or literally on your bed — with this furniture placement, which also seems to be the only possible configuration without lofting the bed, dorm-style, except that the studio comes furnished, which would mean additionally renting a storage unit to house the included furniture until you moved out, just to maximize the space.
Speaking of dorm style, the kitchen is barely larger than a dorm rental "microfridge" combo, and the "kitchenette" cabinets also offer the only storage in the entire unit apart from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, since there are zero closets.
The bathroom seems somewhat normal — especially compared to the tiny San Francisco listing that actually has a shower in the kitchen, or the tiny Tokyo apartment with an entryway that doubles as the water closet — though the rental listing boasts a "bathtub" that we don’t see. (Do you?)
One friend and local college professor called this "a glorified coffin," and I say death to this apartment listing and slumlords, please and thank you.
Because according to the laws of urban domestic personal finance (spending two weeks’ pay on housing), you’d need to be making at least $67,340 per year minimum to be able to afford this "studio" — probably closer to $70K, since the lease doesn’t cover heat or electricity, only hot water.
The kicker? You’re not even allowed to bring your pet, not that there’s room for more than a teacup chihuahua or hamster anyway. At least in our cozy North End burrow, we had our dog. And our Cloffice.