If you are in a relationship and thinking about moving in together or getting married, it’s normal to have doubts. Even if you believe that you’re with the right person, at the right time and for the right reasons, it’s just not possible to be 100 percent sure. By taking a vow to be true to this man or woman that you love, you are taking a big leap of faith. Here are some things to consider before you take that next step.
- Have you ever thought about what being in love really means? There are millions of interpretations, but the only one that really matters is your own. That means you have to create the vision of what being in love is for you. Most people simply go with their feelings. They think they are in love and follow what is actually only a temporary feeling. It’s important to search your hearts and ask yourself, is this for real? Will this feeling last? If you both believe the answer is yes, then you know.
- Does being in this relationship bring out the best in you? If the answer is yes, then clearly this experience is positive, and it is only natural to want more of it. You also need to have both the desire and the ability to take care of this person who is making you want to be the best you can be. Letting your partner down over time has a cumulative negative effect on the relationship.
- If you don’t believe it’s true that half of all relationships fail, look back at your own life. It’s pretty easy to see how things can go south when couples are not truly connected. Finding your soul mate or what some call a “soul connection” is a great goal, but we live in a world that offers us many options. If you believe there is only one person out there for you, you are putting too many limitations on finding relational happiness. Instead, it’s better to put your energy into making the person you are with your soul mate.
- What you have to realize is that no matter who you are or how you met or what you have, all relationships take work. Love, no matter how true it is, is just not enough. When it comes to divorce, most are filed because of practical reasons, and money issues are number one. The business side of your relationship needs to be discussed before you take that walk down the aisle strewn with rose petals.
- Remember too that all things change over time. Hopefully your love will survive, but to make that happen, you both have to be willing to grow. You also need to be willing to say, “I’m sorry, and I was wrong.” If you dislike saying that, better get over it. If you can’t apologize, you can’t love, because your empathy chip is broken.
- Learning to love and being willing to grow are paramount to making relationships work. Doing this takes effort, but it’s well worth it. There is nothing better than a great relationship and nothing worse than a bad one.
Talk about all of this with the one you love. It will help you know one another on a much deeper level, and isn’t that what true love is all about?