Essential Tips for Getting Organized, According To The Onion

We thought we had covered all of the basics of organizing and cleaning your space, but it turns out we missed a couple. The Onion has put together some Tips For Getting Organized and we’d be remiss not to note a few of their (helpful?) pointers.

What we admire most is how they’ve taken conventional knowledge and really scaled it back to the basics, with such helpful hints and tricks like:

  • Make sure to write down important appointments in one easy-to-access place, like the back of your hand.
  • Condense all your lists of people to get revenge on into one, well-maintained enemies list.
  • Spend all your disposable income on Post-it notes.

They also offer up suggestions for a truly energized entryway:

  • Designate a special spot near the front door for keys, purses, backpacks, shoes, coats, unread mail, lunch boxes, musical instruments, sports equipment, loose papers, and yard games.

The rest of the list is hilarious and full of other satirically accurate “hacks.” We’re definitely spending the weekend organizing, cleaning and curating our enemies list, to be honest.

And if you’re in the mood for more sharply pointed lifestyle satire, you can always stop by McSweeney’s for advice: My Fully Optimized Life Allows Me Ample Time to Optimize Yours.

Actual, honest organizing tips. We promise.



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