As we head into the new year, our thoughts often turn to resolutions. What goals will we set for the new year? How will we make it better?
For many folks, those resolutions and goals include their relationships with others. Some may be single and looking to find love in the new year, while others are already with someone and looking to improve that relationship. In either case, below are some resolutions to consider to improve your love life in the coming year…
Resolutions for Singles
1) Be More Social: The first step in finding love is meeting people. In fact, the majority of successful couples meet through shared friends. Also, for those who find more comfort in computer interactions, online dating is a close second. In either case, the main point is to get out there in the new year, expand your social circle, and learn to be curious rather than anxious about new people. Learn to overcome fears of rejection and find more comfortable ways of breaking the ice too.
2) Be More Attractive: Many resolutions help individuals be more attractive to themselves and others—from getting fit, to making money, to being a more honest and positive person. In fact, there are a number of ways to be attractive and each works for different people. So, as you think about your various self-improvement goals, consider how they might make you more attractive to others too. Will they make you more beautiful or handsome? Will the resolution improve your personality or how you treat others? Will it help you develop some unique and appealing trait? In any case, in addition to enjoying becoming better for yourself in the new year, don’t forget to leverage those resolutions for the benefit of your love life too!
3) Be More Clear About What You Want: One of the reasons why people are often unsuccessful in finding love is that they don’t really understand what they want in a partner. Nevertheless, dating is a lot like hiring someone for a work position—you have to understand what you want and need to fill that role. So, part of that is being more understanding of yourself. What characteristics do you find attractive and compatible in a potential partner? What compromises and trade-offs are you willing to make in a mate? What essential things do you need to be satisfied? Becoming more clear on these points will help you identify partners who will be a better fit—and improve the success of your future relationships.
Resolutions for Couples
1) Be More Rewarding and Appreciative: In healthy and satisfying relationships, the positive and rewarding moments outweigh the negative and punishing ones. Therefore, if you want to make your relationship more satisfying, be mindful to reward your partner for the good things they do. Also, try to avoid punishing your partner, as punishment can often backfire. Instead, work toward developing an interaction where you are both appreciative and grateful for each other. This will go a long way toward improving the relationship for you both.
2) Be More Passionate: Passion is the chemistry and spark that keeps relationships vibrant. So, in the new year, remember to stoke the fire of attraction and desire in your relationship as well. This can be accomplished by remembering to increase affectionate and sensual touching, passionate kissing, and romantic eye contact in your relationship. Attraction and passion can also be improved by sharing exiting and new activities together too. So, look lovingly, touch affectionately, and go do something new and exciting with your partner a bit more this year.
3) Be More Considerate: Finally, make an effort to think about your partner a bit more and work out the little petty grievances with them. After all, left unresolved, those little annoying habits can end a relationship. So, learn to deal with arguments and difficulties more constructively. Forgive when possible. Also, learn to build rapport and listen to your partner a bit more openly too. Overall, this will help create a fair and satisfying relationship for you both in the year(s) to come.
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© 2017 by Jeremy S. Nicholson, M.A., M.S.W., Ph.D. All rights reserved.